Can I be Fearless?
In 1992, 20th Century Fox handed director Barry Levinson a blank check. Robin Williams was at the height of his popularity, fresh off hits like "Good Morning, Vietnam," "Dead Poets Society," and the voice of the Genie in "Aladdin." The supporting cast included Joan Cusack, Michael Gambon, and Robin Wright. The film had stars, songs, a massive budget, and every ingredient that should have guaranteed a hit.
Yet when "Toys" was released in December 1992, it opened in sixth place and limped away with just over $23 million at the box office, barely half its budget. Barry Levinson was even nominated for a Razzie Award for Worst Director. How could such a well-resourced project fail so spectacularly?
The answer lies in a perfect storm of missteps that began before cameras even rolled. Barry Levinson and his then-wife, Valerie Curtin, developed the screenplay in 1979, inspired by a newspaper article about Soviet naval intelligence studying American submarine toy models. The script itself became a victim of its own ambition. Despite twelve years of preparation, the screenplay seemed pulled in two directions. The producers kept describing it as "whimsical," while studios kept interpreting it as a dark comedy.
Even Robin Williams seemed oddly restrained, playing it warm and cuddly when the film desperately needed his manic energy. The result was a film that critics found visually stunning, but the story was confused, and audiences simply couldn't connect with what they were watching.
But there was one part of the movie I enjoyed: the song "Let Joy and Innocence Prevail," sung by Grace Jones.
I tell you of a girl, her husband was a soldier
Gone to war in some strange country far away
No word had come to her but the rumors of great battles fought
And dying in their thousands and the world full of fear
As the day would turn to evening she would light a pure white candle
And place it in a window bright from where it could be seen
As she placed it in the window softly without thinking
She said let this burning candle be a beacon
Let joy and innocence prevail
Let joy and innocence prevail
Believe that luck will never fail
Let joy and innocence prevail
And one night, asleep
She dreamed she saw her husband fall
In a great white cavalry charge
And waking in tears
She saw the candle burning in the window
She still had hope
And through the window
A man in the distance
But as he came closer
She saw he was a stranger
The stranger said, "I bring a message from a General
A captain has been wounded, his life hangs by a thread
He calls out your name and he wishes you to come to him
But the journey is a hard road and you may be afraid"
And she laughed and said, "No road could be too hard for I am fearless
A captain and a husband, I have gained this bright new day"
And she said with all her heart, she would fly to be beside him
And her love would heal his wounds, restore him to her
Let joy and innocence prevail
Let joy and innocence prevail
Believe that luck will never fail
Let joy and innocence prevail
Let joy and innocence prevail
Let joy and innocence prevail
Believe that luck will never fail
Let joy and innocence prevail
Let joy and innocence prevail!
"Toys" remains a fascinating cautionary tale about what happens when unlimited resources meet unclear vision. But there's another lesson in this film, one that Grace Jones captured perfectly in the film's haunting song. The film's central message, that we must choose joy and innocence over warfare and destruction, resonates today.
A decade ago, my own husband faced his own battle: triple bypass surgery, then a stroke two years later. The doctors wanted him to stay in the hospital for two weeks of physical therapy, but he wanted to come home. He complained about the noise that prevented him from sleeping, the lack of regular meals, and they hadn't started any physical therapy. I was fearless enough to sign those release and liability forms and take him home, even though he couldn't walk and I could barely get him out of the car.
I became his personal physical therapist, watching YouTube videos and working with him all day. I put my programming projects on hold. In two days, he no longer needed the walker. In two weeks, he was walking to the mailbox. In two months, he was back at Disney, walking three miles a day. Like the woman in Grace Jones's song who said, "No road could be too hard for I am fearless," I learned that fearlessness and joy are not opposites; they are partners. You can be brave enough to defy the doctors, bold enough to bet on love and healing, while still holding tight to the joy and innocence that make life worth fighting for. "Toys" failed because it lost sight of that balance. My husband had lost the part of his brain that gave him balance and the doctors said he'd probably never walk again without a walker, but we've had a decade of travel and spending days at Disney. The walker still sits in the corner of the closet.
I'm writing the 4th book in my Kira and Henry series, War Games, while my husband is fighting his health battles again. When I write YA novels and screenplays, I use the Save the Cat! structure, and unlike Toys, I always know what my story is about and how it should be told. I become fearless and disciplined, but keep the joy of writing, because in life, in love, in the moments that truly matter, we cannot afford to lose it. It is time for me to be fearless again. And it is time to let joy and innocence prevail.
Note: My April 2021 blog about my fearless granddaughter, Suby, tells the story of my great, great-grandmother on the Cook side of the family, who was truly fearless and went behind enemy lines to bring her captured husband home during the Civil War.
The above picture is of my granddaughter, Tulaasi, on Mount Cook in the Ben Ohau Range of New Zealand's South Island. She and my oldest granddaughter, Chandra, fearlessly worked for years in Australia, New Zealand, and throughout Europe. My granddaughter, Vrinda, who is required to wear snake-proof boots to work as a field biologist in the Florida wilderness, is fearless. More about them in future blogs
I have been writing this monthly blog for over 6 years, every month - and I have so many stories I've yet to tell!
Happy Holidays to all of you!
