Early Mother's Day

 "A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's." - Princess Diana

Mother's Day comes early next month, normally before my blog is done, so I thought I'd write about my mother. Her birthday is in a few weeks, and my own was a few weeks ago. My earliest childhood memory was looking out my bedroom window and seeing the side of a huge feed truck. My parents owned a chicken ranch, and much of my early years were spent working. I had the job of candling eggs, which was a visual inspection of an egg as it passed in front of a bright light before entering the egg washer to find any fertilized eggs. Talk about early sex education! I was also the one to collect the eggs because I had tiny fingers and quick hands. But being only five, I didn't know much about physics,and when the feed truck pulled away, I thought the house was moving and screamed. I remember my mother hugging me and explaining that the house didn't move, the feed truck did.
This simple moment fundamentally shaped how I understand teaching and growth. I learned that true nurturing isn't about removing obstacles but providing the support and space for others to overcome them themselves. Years later, as an adult, I find myself approaching challenges with others—whether mentoring colleagues or helping friends through difficulties—with this same balanced approach: present enough to provide security, distant enough to allow growth. This single memory gave me a template for understanding care that values both protection and independence, a perspective that colors how I view relationships, education, and personal development to this day.

My mother died at a younger age than I am now of cancer. My dad has had to live out his final Act without her. Yes, he remarried, traveled the world, and even got to see the Pope - but I know he misses her. As Mother's Day approaches, I think of her.  She loved animals; growing up, I was allowed to have as many pets as I wanted. After they sold the chicken ranch, my parents bought acreage and developed an avocado ranch in Escondido. Gophers are enemy #1 for avocado trees, and cats are the best defense. At times, I had dozens of cats and gave each one a name. But I had other animals: pigs, rabbits, chickens, and my main 4-H project, market sheep. I'd take them to the Del Mar Fair each year and show them. Starting at about 10, I'd have my first taste of freedom. We stayed at the fair, camping out under the racetrack in the betting area. They'd bring in army cots, and for a week, that was our dorms, and we were on our own. Our cafeteria was on the other side of the fairgrounds, past the horse stalls. 

Yes, the Del Mar Racetrack was completed in 1937 on the grounds of the Del Mar Fair, which had opened just a year earlier in 1936. The track was built by a partnership including famous celebrities of the era - most notably Bing Crosby, along with actors Pat O'Brien, Gary Cooper, Joe E. Brown, Charles S. Howard, and Oliver Hardy. When Del Mar opened on July 3, 1937, Bing Crosby was personally at the gate to greet the first fans. Crosby served as President of the Turf Club (where we'd have our auction luncheon) while his friend Pat O'Brien was Vice President. The track quickly earned nicknames like "Bing's Baby" and "Movieland's Own Track" due to its Hollywood connections. One of the most famous moments in Del Mar's history came on August 12, 1938, when the track hosted a $25,000 winner-take-all match race between Seabiscuit and Ligaroti.

This race was the first nationwide broadcast of a thoroughbred race by NBC Radio. In front of a record crowd, Seabiscuit won by a nose, helping to make Del Mar a success. Throughout the late 1940s and 1950s, Del Mar established itself as "the Saratoga of the West" for summer racing, featuring large purses for many stakes races.

The track has continued to attract Hollywood celebrities throughout its history. Stars like Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz, Betty Grable, and Mickey Rooney were among those who frequented Del Mar, and Jimmy Durante became such a regular that the track eventually named its turf course in his honor. Today, Del Mar Racetrack continues its tradition of thoroughbred racing with its famous slogan "Where the Turf Meets the Surf," a phrase from a song written by Bing Crosby. The track hosts important races like the Pacific Classic and continues to be a significant venue in American horse racing. But for that one week, in the 1960s and 70s, it was "our turf" during the fair.

When I was sixteen, I fell for a much older guy who was about 20. He was the cousin of a good friend, and some of my buddies snuck me into the boys' dorms. This older guy was a chaperone, but so was my dad. Needless to say, I got caught, making out with a guy in the boys' dorm - by my father! In a few hours, was on my way home with my mother. As she drove the car home with me sobbing all the way, she finally pulled over and hugged me. Agreements were made, and she turned the car around. I don't know how she convinced my dad to let me stay at the fair, but my mom was a "fixer." I miss her every day.